Head + Ass = statistics

This close to Christmas, I don’t want to tip the balance of my yearly stats and slide onto the naughty list

This close to Christmas, I don’t want to tip the balance of my yearly stats and slide onto the naughty list, but clearly someone at Maclean’s has his head up his ass.

According to the magazine’s number-crunching math whizzes, Victoria is the country’s second most dangerous city in Canada. Which just goes to show that when it comes to reflecting the truth, statistics rank up there with Reality TV. (And if I’ve told her once, I’ve told her a hundred times: no, Ms. Kardashian, I won’t be your rebound toy boy.)

Or to paraphrase Irish mathematician and author Des McHale: If a statistician was asked to describe the human race to a group of visiting aliens, he would say the average human has one breast and one testicle. Which also explains why math geeks are rarely invited to the cool parties. “Hey, there, sexy. Did you know that an average sneeze can hit 100 miles per hour? Uh, wait, where are you going?”

And the truth of the matter is, Victoria’s ranking created so much media buzz because nobody can believe our sleepy little city is such a hotbed of danger. And the reason they can’t believe it is because it just isn’t true.

We can argue the math and point out the population stats don’t reflect the actual number of people (including tourists) who flock to our downtown core; we can also point to the city’s own stats that show crime has been dropping in Greater Victoria for the last five years in a row. But the bottom line is how you feel when you step outside your own front door.

Admittedly, Victoria has been the scene of several absolutely horrific crimes over the last few years. And because of our mild climate, it is also a popular destination for the homeless and addicted. In the last year alone, all three members of Monday’s editorial team were victims of vehicle break-ins. But when it comes to danger, I can honestly say I’ve never lived in a city that I feel safer in. M

The Doonesbury dilemma

Several readers have noticed that the Doonesbury cartoon strip is no longer nestled in the back pages of Monday. The decision to stop carrying the strip is not one that we took lightly, but in listening to our readers, it became apparent that we needed to use our editorial space to its best advantage. In this case that meant expanding our Community Calendar. There are so many fabulous things to see and do in Victoria that we want to make sure none get missed. So if you have an event that you feel should be included in our expanded calendar listings, please email calendar@mondaymag.com. Also, look for our new website launching in the next few weeks at mondaymag.com that will also include a brand new online calendar that makes it easy to add your own events, fairs and concerts. And, if you miss Doonesbury, you’ll find it at doonesbury.com

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