Grin and bear it

With the sun finally showing its face, the daily chore of trudging to work indoors becomes more and more difficult.

With the sun finally showing its face, the daily chore of trudging to work indoors becomes more and more difficult. But unless we get as lucky as a certain former steel worker from Campbell River who picked up a $36-million lottery prize this week, there’s little choice but to grin and bear it.

At least we can take certain comfort that there are worse jobs out there, unless you happen to have one of the 15 Most Stressful Jobs in the World, according to workplace blog Almost Organized (keepandshare.com).

A few of my favourites included on their list: African Bee Removal Specialist. Apparently, these shiftless bees are not only unreliable when it comes to paying rent on the hive, but also tend to get mean when asked to turn the buzzing down at 3 a.m. And if that isn’t annoying enough, they also hold a grudge and like to attack in packs.

Emergency Professionals: if they screw up, people die. If I screw up, anal-retentive former spelling-bee champs get deep wrinkles around their pursed lips. I’ll take the wrinkles and the slap-on-the-wrist emails.

Professional Animal Masturbator: first of all, the word professional tends to imply that there are amateur animal masturbators out there. If you’re one of them, please cut it out. This is obviously a job for professionals with, I assume, very small hands. How do you talk dirty to a chicken, anyway? And what do you do if they become too attached?

Freelancer: I believe Charles Dickens was working freelance when he wrote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” It’s not the job that stresses you out, it’s the fear that there may not be a next one.

Hazmat Diver: it’s all fun and games until you have to recover a dead body from a waste lagoon full of urine and pig feces. Hmmm, my windowless office is starting to look quite cushy.

Ice Road Trucker. The pay is great so long as you don’t mind driving on the most dangerous roads in the world and the only radio station you can pull in is 24-hour Barry Manilow. Plus, and this is a little adage I like to keep close to heart, if you’re peeing outdoors and your urine stream freezes before it hits the ground, it’s time to turn around and head back to Victoria.

Summer may be late in coming, but, man, are we ever blessed when it finally arrives. M

Just Posted

Esquimalt artist captures culinary personalities with body art

Mary Ploegsma’s unique chef/tattoo portrait series on display this month in Chinatown café

Jazz bargains available for music lovers this month

Left Coast Jazz Fest offers four-show package deal, extends discount for TD JazzFest ticket holders

WINE NOTES: Wild about the whites

Plenty of reason to try out these affordable whites, writes Monday wine columnist Robert Moyes

Animal-loving comic Carla Collins performing fundraiser show for SPCA

Sellout show June 20 could raise up to $35,000 for Victoria branch of organization

TESS VAN STRAATEN: Getting funky in Fernwood

Eclectic neighbourhood draws many visitors, laid-back feel popular with residents

Rick Mercer-led comedy team in for second Just for Laughs show at UVic

Comedy company will stage two shows Nov. 16 at Farquhar Auditorium

Trade expo a key part of 2019 BC Seafood Festival

Comox Valley hosts celebration of seafood industry; numerous events on tap this weekend

Samoa bans Elton John biopic, Rocketman

Depictions of homosexuality, contrary to law, cause country’s censor to prevent film’s screening

REVIEW: If you like farce, you’ll love Noises Off at Langham Court!

By Sheila Martindale The nine cast members in Langham Court Theatre’s new… Continue reading

Celtic songs tuned up for Sooke coffeehouse

Celtic Reflections to perfrom on June 15

Most Read