TALES FROM THE ROAD: The case of the wet hamburger

Grapes of Wrath frontman recalls an incident involving a hamburger and a hotel pool

One beautiful summer day before an evening gig I decided to have lunch at the hotel’s outdoor pool and restaurant. The only other people there was a middle-aged couple in the water.

I was enjoying a hamburger and fries, minding my business, but the hamburger was quite filling, so I decided to just eat the burger and leave the bun.

As I was finishing my food I heard a plopping splashing sound coming from nearby; I was too busy looking at my laptop to notice what it was.

A few seconds later the guy in the pool came up from underwater and threw something onto the pool deck beside me. It was a hamburger patty.

He just stared at me and then swam back to his wife.

This whole thing seemed strange, but then a horrifying thought came to mind: he thinks I threw my hamburger patty into the pool!

All the evidence pointed to me. There, on my plate, was an uneaten hamburger bun, and there, on the pool deck, was a wet hamburger patty.

The restaurant waitress immediately came by. She looked at the hamburger patty on the ground, then at the bun on the plate, then at me.

She picked up the wet patty and went back inside.

At this point I’m really paranoid. What do I care what people think? But do I want them thinking I threw a hamburger into a hotel pool?

I soon realized that the hamburger actually fell from the sky. It was dropped by a crow that was raiding the dumpster next door.

I thought about mentioning the crow to the waitress and the couple in the swimming pool, in case they hadn’t seen it still rummaging through the trash, but I didn’t bother, the story’s unbelievable enough as it is.

 

Just Posted

Elegant waterfront gala to launch new Ballet Victoria season

Tickets still available for Spring Soiree on April 26: meet the dancers, bid on great auction items

BEHIND BARS: Get ready to be Empressed

New Q Lounge bar manager Rob Williams helping usher historic hotel into modern era

Greater Victoria’s school of magic is back

Alectoria School of Magic will run its second summer camp at Shawnigan Lake School

Western waterfront calls to Alan Doyle

Former Great Big Sea front man brings his maritimer’s mind and music to the city for May 7 concert

Just looking, or buying? You can find that perfect art piece at Sidney show

Saanich Peninsula Arts and Crafts Society holding Spring Show April 27-28 at Mary Winspear Centre

Peninsula grandmothers salute Roaring ’20s fashion

May 3 event in Sidney benefits Grandmothers Helping African Grandmothers

Belmont secondary’s student-run bistro experiences opening-day rush

Culinary students serving up affordable lunches to fellow classmates

Sooke Community Choir offers up #modernlove

Sooke concerts run from May 3 to 5

Celebration of Light fireworks to feature two new countries

India and Croatia will compete for the first time, alongside Canada

Stephen Fearing brings unique style to concert series

Fearing will play Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Sooke on April 27

Nude dance ‘Serpentine’ will be performed for Nanaimo audience

Choreographer Daina Ashbee returns to hometown from Montreal for provocative show

Sidney Classical Orchestra hosts former dean of Victoria Conservatory

Canadian pianist Jamie Syer to play pieces by Beethoven, Haydn at Saturday concert in Sidney

Most Read