TALES FROM THE ROAD: The case of the wet hamburger

Grapes of Wrath frontman recalls an incident involving a hamburger and a hotel pool

One beautiful summer day before an evening gig I decided to have lunch at the hotel’s outdoor pool and restaurant. The only other people there was a middle-aged couple in the water.

I was enjoying a hamburger and fries, minding my business, but the hamburger was quite filling, so I decided to just eat the burger and leave the bun.

As I was finishing my food I heard a plopping splashing sound coming from nearby; I was too busy looking at my laptop to notice what it was.

A few seconds later the guy in the pool came up from underwater and threw something onto the pool deck beside me. It was a hamburger patty.

He just stared at me and then swam back to his wife.

This whole thing seemed strange, but then a horrifying thought came to mind: he thinks I threw my hamburger patty into the pool!

All the evidence pointed to me. There, on my plate, was an uneaten hamburger bun, and there, on the pool deck, was a wet hamburger patty.

The restaurant waitress immediately came by. She looked at the hamburger patty on the ground, then at the bun on the plate, then at me.

She picked up the wet patty and went back inside.

At this point I’m really paranoid. What do I care what people think? But do I want them thinking I threw a hamburger into a hotel pool?

I soon realized that the hamburger actually fell from the sky. It was dropped by a crow that was raiding the dumpster next door.

I thought about mentioning the crow to the waitress and the couple in the swimming pool, in case they hadn’t seen it still rummaging through the trash, but I didn’t bother, the story’s unbelievable enough as it is.

 

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Vancouver Island dance classes billed as female empowerment tool

New Comox Valley business focuses on ‘promoting positive body image’

Duncan’s Big Stick lights up red to signal COVID’s devastation of the arts

“COVID-19 has been truly devastating to the Cowichan Performing Arts Centre”

Join Black Press Media and Do Some Good

Pay it Forward program supports local businesses in their community giving

Cowichan Performing Arts Centre streaming new short film tonight

Standing By has been created and performed by Cowichan-raised actor Nicole Ratjen.

Voting now ready for Oak Bay’s Arts Alive 2020 sculptures

Audio and written descriptions posted for all 10 sculptures

Snuneymuxw artist brings aquatic designs to Nanaimo’s Beban Park pool

Work by artist Eliot White-Hill is being installed at the pool this month

Nanaimo musician plays all instruments on DIY debut album

Jamie Penner releasing guitar-centric instrumental record ‘Out of Curiosity’

Hospice worker and patient butt heads in upcoming Nanaimo theatre production

Yellow Point Drama Group presents ‘Grace and Glorie’ at Cedar Community Hall

Art+Earth Festival gets growing this weekend

Find out what events are in-person and what’s happening online

Film about missing and murdered indigenous women makes Nanaimo debut

A mother and daughter search for answers in Sonia Bonspille Boileau’s ‘Rustic Oracle’

Most Read