TALES FROM THE ROAD: The case of the wet hamburger

Grapes of Wrath frontman recalls an incident involving a hamburger and a hotel pool

One beautiful summer day before an evening gig I decided to have lunch at the hotel’s outdoor pool and restaurant. The only other people there was a middle-aged couple in the water.

I was enjoying a hamburger and fries, minding my business, but the hamburger was quite filling, so I decided to just eat the burger and leave the bun.

As I was finishing my food I heard a plopping splashing sound coming from nearby; I was too busy looking at my laptop to notice what it was.

A few seconds later the guy in the pool came up from underwater and threw something onto the pool deck beside me. It was a hamburger patty.

He just stared at me and then swam back to his wife.

This whole thing seemed strange, but then a horrifying thought came to mind: he thinks I threw my hamburger patty into the pool!

All the evidence pointed to me. There, on my plate, was an uneaten hamburger bun, and there, on the pool deck, was a wet hamburger patty.

The restaurant waitress immediately came by. She looked at the hamburger patty on the ground, then at the bun on the plate, then at me.

She picked up the wet patty and went back inside.

At this point I’m really paranoid. What do I care what people think? But do I want them thinking I threw a hamburger into a hotel pool?

I soon realized that the hamburger actually fell from the sky. It was dropped by a crow that was raiding the dumpster next door.

I thought about mentioning the crow to the waitress and the couple in the swimming pool, in case they hadn’t seen it still rummaging through the trash, but I didn’t bother, the story’s unbelievable enough as it is.

 

Just Posted

Art + Fare fundraiser boosts Gallery’s family programs

Sept. 21 event at the Union Club features art for sale, gourmet food and musical entertainment

FIRST REVIEWS: Victoria Fringe Festival starts with a bang

We review the first wave of shows from the festival, as part of our ongoing series

Mathieu Poirier: Craft beer and carnivores collide at Brewery and the Beast

Popular event continues to grow, spreading out at Royal Athletic Park

Behind Bars: Variety the name of the game at The Churchill

Bar manager Tyler Rowe enjoys helping promote Victoria spirits and beers

Enjoy a Night Under the Stars to help sick kids

Harvest on the Harbour offers locally sourced gourmet meal, plus live entertainment on Sept. 20

VIDEO: Title of 25th Bond movie is ‘No Time to Die’

The film is set to be released in April 2020

New ‘Matrix’ film set with Keanu Reeves and Lana Wachowski

Fourth installment to feature Reeves as Neo and Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity

Margaret Atwood talks Handmaid’s Tale sequel at UVic

Sold-out Sept. 27 event illustrates iconic Canadian author’s popularity in literary haven of Victoria

For the Love of Fibre: Fibrations 2019 wrapup

Fibre arts celebrated through demonstrations and market showcasing locally made items

Tour de Victoria: Giving you the down low on detours around the region

Thousands of cyclists participating in ninth Tour de Victoria on Saturday

Christopher Auchter’s story headed to the international stage at Toronto International Film Fest

Old Massett totem pole raising revisited in Christopher Auchter’s documentary Now Is The Time

Saanich Peninsula student scores only scholarship for Canadians offered by top U.S. music school

Stelly’s grad Isaiah Carvalhal-Smith and his electric bass off to Boston after successful audition

Yellow Wolf Powwow draws dancers from across Canada

Saanichton event a celebration of Indigenous culture

Most Read